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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Heros and Hounds

"Success without adversity is not only is not possible."  H. Norman Schwarzkoff

There is a traditional running game called Hare and Hounds.  The Hare leaves a trail and the runners or hounds follow. Bit of my own version going on in Boston.

I 've had a finish line fantasy for quite some time.  I always dreamed my significant other would meet me as I complete those final tough miles or at least at the finish line.  There won't be any hero in Boston.  No significant other in my life at the moment.  I 've only had spectators at one marathon. My brother and his girlfriend were at the Madison finish line and friend Cheryl cheered me on from our hotel steps in Madison.

No finish line hero in Boston, but I do have a hound. I thought he'd be my finish line hero. He'll be in Boston running in the elite wave. He has run Boston more than 20 times and is well known in local running circles. He won Lakefront Marathon numerous times.  He helped me get ready for my first marathon when I ran my best time.

We were friends for more than 10 years before we started dating.  He helped me get through being unemployed and was always a source of advise on running and injuries. He was always able to give me a referral for a doctor, message therapist or chiropractor. We would talk for hours.   I was ready when he suggested we start dating.

We dated off and on for 10 years.  He was my light bulb boyfriend, off then on then off, always at his whim.
I took him back because when you get over 40 it's pretty tough to find a decent guy and well I was in love.
I knew I wasn't the love of his life, but thought if I just worked hard enough, was understanding enough and a good enough girlfriend I would win him over. I thought if I hung in there long enough things would work out and I waited so long to date him, I didn't want to give up too soon.

When he told me four years ago he had broken up with a girlfriend we were back on.  We did not see each other as much as I would have liked. But two demanding careers, sick parents and training schedules all seemed like logical explanations.  We saw each other pretty often all things considered.

Two years later on fall Sunday afternoon, I got an email that changed my life from the girl friend he had never broken up with.  Seeing both of us....actually living with her, making me the other woman.  I think she was trying to tell me to stay away from her man. Too bad I didn't know she was still in the picture.

From piecing things together I figured out this was not the first time he had shall we say double booked himself. He did it to us before.  He was dating me when he met her.

Well I haven't talked with him since that fall afternoon. Do see him occasionally at runs.  His name kept being mentioned to me a lot lately.  My chiropractor is friends with him and mentions him most visits, the reporter interviewing me brought up his name.  My hair stylists asked if that runner dude was still with that woman.  Well so a little poking around on the internet..yes and he is engaged to the woman.

It hit me a bit hard, because I didn't get much sleep this weekend.  I got 3 hours of sleep Friday night. It happens quite often because of the CMT.  Usually I could just run off the bad news, but I'm on a taper.

Doesn't seem fair this hound gets to be happy.  He lied to me, took advantage of my feelings for him and used me to hurt someone else.  She was so anxious to warn me away from her man she didn't care that she hurt me.  Did not seem to mind he had double dipped before. She invaded my privacy emailing me and even calling my house. I lost what I thought was my best friend that afternoon.   I lost all my hopes and dreams for things working out with him.

Maybe they both deserve each other, cause honey if you're reading his work and personal emails you don't trust him. If you don't trust him you have no business making a lifelong commitment.  He won't change because he put a ring on your finger. If he cheated during the bloom of love, an engagement or even a marriage won't change that.  You can't build a happy life on the ashes of someone else's.  And yes in this case he will cheat again. In fact at a run last year he was flirting up a storm with a little red haired girl.  So I don't think he a changed man or has learned anything from the experience.

So after a good nights sleep and a run I'm doing OK.  This hound hopefully gets me one step closer to that finish line hero I'm still looking for.  With CMT and being over 50, it's a lot to hope for, but I'm a hopeful romantic.

Chris Wodke
Founder & Manager Team CMT

Team CMT is a group of athletes and supporters working to raise awareness and to find a cure for CMT. We have almost 100 members in 17 states. If you wish to join us visit our web site.

CMT or Charcot-Marie-Tooth is the most commonly inherited peripheral neuropathy. It affects over 155,000 Americans (as many as MS).  It is a disease of the nerves that control the muscles. It is slowly progressive, causing loss of normal function and or sensation in the lower legs/feet and arms/hands.

Symptoms include; muscle wasting in the lower legs and feet leading to foot drop, poor balance and gait problems Atrophy in the hands causes difficulty with manual dexterity.

Structural foot deformities such as high arches and hammer toes are common.

Poor tolerance for cool or cold temperatures and many people have chronically cold hands and feet.

Additional symptoms may include fatigue, sleep apnea, breathing difficulties and hearing loss.

Running, triathlons, impaired athlete, paratriathlon, USAT, running and CMT

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